


Taking Chances

by kinksock22



Series: Until You [3]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha Jensen, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Jared, Established Relationship, Insecure Jared Padalecki, Knotting, M/M, Mates, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Jared, RPS - Freeform, Self-Lubrication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-13 06:05:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12977676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinksock22/pseuds/kinksock22
Summary: Jared moves in with Jensen but still finds himself struggling with his issues about being an omega.





	Taking Chances

**Author's Note:**

> First, sorry this took so long to update. Hopefully those that have been waiting enjoy.
> 
> Secondly, not gonna lie, there are a lot of times I want to slap the hell out of Jared in this verse. That said, I don't think it would be accurate to portray him as just suddenly being okay with all the insecurities and issues that he's dealt with for many years. I hope that comes through in this.

Even though it kind of still terrifies him, Jared moves in with Jensen. He almost backs out more times than he can count, so afraid of the fact that Jensen will be around _all the time_. With them living together, there's nowhere – or no way – for Jared to hide and he's afraid of Jensen seeing _all_ of him. It's bad enough that Jensen knows about his issues with his gender and all the stupid insecurities that come with it but there are things, parts of himself, that he's been able to keep away from Jensen. 

He's terrified that Jensen will finally see the _real_ him and run. Jared honestly couldn't blame him if he did. 

But, much to Jared's surprise – he didn't think they'd last a week – the first several months aren't really that bad. It's sort of exhausting though, making sure to hide the parts of himself that would scare Jensen off. He makes sure to always clean up after himself – he can admit that he has a tendency to sort of be a slob – and makes sure to be as quiet as possible in the mornings – Jared is a morning person, Jensen isn't, is growly and grumpy until at least his second cup of coffee. He makes sure that he showers as soon as he gets home from work, making sure that the alpha pheromones are completely washed away before Jensen gets home. He cooks since he gets off work earlier than Jensen even though he kind of hates to cook and he's really not all that good at it. He tries _so hard_ to make sure to be the perfect mate for Jensen, afraid of losing him even though just a few short months ago he was willing to let Jensen go. He's realized that he _needs_ Jensen, which is enough to scare the shit out of him. He's not used to needing anyone, has always prided himself on being completely independent. 

More and more, he feels like he's losing parts of himself, parts that make him Jared, not just simply Jensen's mate. 

Despite how well he thinks he's hiding it, Jared soon realizes he's very wrong. 

He sometimes forgets how well Jensen knows him, how easily he can read Jared. He can see the shadows in Jensen's eyes still, can sense his mate's unhappiness in their newly developed stronger bond and he knows that Jensen can feel his emotions just as easily, can tell that Jared is mostly just faking it, barely holding on. He can feel Jensen slipping away, can feel their bond weakening again but he doesn't know how to make it better. What Jensen wants, what he deserves, Jared still doesn't think he can give him. He wants to, of course he does, more than anything, but it's the same issue they've had their entire relationship, that Jared's struggled with his entire life. He knows that he'll never be able to fully embrace his gender but he'd hoped that he could at least come to accept it more, that being with Jensen would make it a little easier. He knows that Jensen doesn't expect him to be some delicate, simpering omega, knows that Jensen would never try to control him or stifle his independence but he doesn't know how to find a middle ground. 

Four months after moving in with Jensen, his mate barely smiles anymore, and their bond is back to being shaky and incomplete. Jared's not as surprised as he thinks he should be when Jensen finally reaches his limit. Honestly, Jared thought it'd happen much sooner. Jensen is the most easy-going person he's ever known but what Jared's asking of him would test anyone. 

Jared wakes up on a Saturday morning exactly four months into their living together to find Jensen already up and dressed, sitting on the edge of their bed at Jared's side. Jared blinks owlishly, confused and worried. Jensen _never_ gets up before him. 

Jared licks his lips and drags one hand down his face, trying to shake of the lingering sleepiness and looks up at his mate, heart breaking all over again at the look in Jensen's eyes, the slight downturn of his lips. “You okay?” Jared asks softly, aching to reach out and touch Jensen but he knows that he can't. He's not sure what the hell is going on but he's pretty fucking sure that it's not anything good. 

“No, not really,” Jensen answers, just as softly.

Panic surges through Jared's entire body and he pushes himself up, reaching out for Jensen before he even registers his hand moving. He cups his mate's jaw, heart pounding against his ribs. “What,” he chokes out, his voice breaking. “Jen, what's wrong?” he finally manages to ask. 

Jensen smiles sadly and reaches up to grab Jared's hand, tangling their fingers together and dropping their joined hands onto his leg. “You know what's wrong,” Jensen replies quietly. Jared inhales deeply, lips parting to deny, to deflect, anything, but Jensen shakes his head, brow furrowing. “Don't, Jared,” he murmurs simply.

Jared licks his lips again and closes his eyes. Before he can talk himself out of it, before he can second guess or question himself, before he can let his stupid issues and insecurities get the best of him, he leans forward, buries his face in the crook of Jensen's neck. He inhales deeply, taking in the scent of his mate, fearing that this will be the last time he's close enough to do it. “I'm sorry, Jensen,” he whispers. Rare tears sting behind his closed eyes and he pushes closer to his mate, sliding his arm around Jensen's waist. “'m so fuckin' sorry,” he rasps.

Jensen slides his free hand into Jared's hair, presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Me too,” he breathes.

As much as he doesn't want to, Jared pulls back enough to look at Jensen, for once not caring about the tears filling his eyes, not feeling like he has to put on some macho facade. “What're you sorry for?” he asks quietly. “You're not the one that's broken, Jen.”

Jensen sighs, his shoulders slumping, and shakes his head. “Are you ever gonna believe me when I tell you that you're not broken?” He reaches up and cups Jared's jaw, thumb brushing gently under his eye, wiping away the few tears that break free. Jared bites his bottom lip and drops his eyes, unable to look at the love and sincerity in Jensen's gaze. Lips brush against his forehead and Jensen scoots a little closer, gently squeezing Jared's hand that he's still holding. “You're not,” he continues softly. Jared scoffs and shakes his head. “Don't do that,” Jensen murmurs.

“Jensen,” Jared sighs, shaking his head again.

“D'you wanna move back out?” Jensen asks before Jared can say anything else, before he can even figure out what he was going to say other than his mate's name. 

Jared's eyes snap back up to Jensen's, a few more tears breaking free at the same time his heart slams against his ribs even harder than before. This is it, he's finally pushed Jensen as far as he can. Emotion tightens Jared's throat and he tries to pull away. “Lemme go,” Jared whispers. “I'll leave, Jen. I know that's what's best. Just please...” he trails off, once again trying to pull away.

Jensen very rarely uses his enhanced alpha strength against him. He does this time though, wrapping one arm around Jared and holding him still, a flash of anger darkening his eyes. “Damnit, Jared,” he half-growls. “I don't... I don't want you to go, that's not at all what I meant or what I want. But you're obviously miserable here.”

“I don't...” Jared closes his eyes again and slumps against Jensen, for once letting his mate hold him up. “I don't know how to be different, Jensen,” he whispers, voice thick, tears falling freely. “I want to, God do I want to. But whether you wanna believe it or not, I _am_ broken.”

“Jared, look at me,” Jensen commands gently. Jared slowly opens his eyes and looks up at his mate. Jensen's giving him that same sad smile and Jared hates it. “I thought we already covered this, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “I don't want you to change or be different or anything like that. I want you to be you, the man I love.”

“I know,” Jared sighs and shakes his head again. “I just don't wanna disappoint you. I want you to be happy. You deserve so much.”

“Jay, this has got to stop. Why can't you just believe me? Believe _in_ me?”

“I do, Jensen. It's not you. The problem is me. Has always been me.”

Jensen tightens his hold around Jared's waist and pulls him impossibly closer. “Do you want to live here?” Jensen asks softly.

“I wanna be with you,” Jared answers quietly. “Of course I do. And I do wanna live with you...”

“Then what's wrong? What's holding you back?” 

“I'm just... I'm so afraid that you'll see just how deep my issues go and you'll realize that... that you're better off with someone else.” Jared's eyes widen and he bites down hard on his bottom lip. He really didn't mean to say that.

“Baby,” Jensen breathes, shaking his head. “That's not... God, that'll never happen, Jay. I love you, so much. And all I want is to be with you.” He dips down, lips brushing over Jared's cheek, the corner of his lips. “You don't have to change for me, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “I love you just the way you are.”

Jared melts against Jensen's chest, once again burying his face in Jensen's neck, his eyes fluttering closed. “I love you, too,” he whispers. “I... I'll do better, Jen, I promise.”

“Just be you,” Jensen murmurs. “That's all I need or want. And if you're unhappy, don't try to fake it. Talk to me.”

Jared nods and wiggles closer, inhaling Jensen's warm, spicy scent again. They've been through all this, so many times it's not even funny. Jensen is such an amazing mate and he just needs not worry so much, needs to listen and believe Jensen, believe in Jensen, like he claims to, like he should.

******

Things are still kind of tense for a few days but Jared has vowed silently to himself, and Jensen, to be better. He stops trying so hard to be what he thinks Jensen will want, tries to stop being the perfect omega – there's no chance he'll ever be and in trying to do so he's just managed to make everything worse. But he has a plan now. Hopefully it works.

He can't really stop using the alpha pheromones at work – they all think he's an alpha and he doesn't really want to know what will happen if they find out the truth – but he stops using it when he's not at work. He also ditches the suppressants. He can't bring himself to stop the birth control – surely isn't ready for children, doesn't really know if he'll ever be. He stops worrying so damn much and starts to really try to accept himself and his gender, reminds himself all the time that loving Jensen and being with him doesn't mean that he has to lose who he is, that he doesn't have to lose his independence and sense of self. 

He wakes up a few weeks after stopping the suppressants to a sensation he hasn't felt since he was a teenager. His stomach cramps violently and there's an ache so deep inside that he feels a little like he's dying. His skin feels too tight and itchy and he can barely think properly. He wants Jensen, _needs_ Jensen, and his mate is nowhere to be seen. 

Jared closes his eyes and tries to think past the haze of his first heat in more than six years. Jensen isn't in the apartment. He blinks his bleary eyes open and glances at the clock, groaning when he sees how late it is. Jensen is at work, Jared _should_ be, but there's no way he can even get out of bed. He reaches out and fumbles for his phone, another cramp hitting him just as Jensen picks up the phone. He groans in pain and he can hear the concern and worry in Jensen's voice. 

“Jay? What's wrong, baby?”

“Jen,” he gasps. “Fuck... Come home. Please?”

“Yeah of course,” Jensen answers quickly and Jared can hear him moving around. “What's wrong?”

“Hurts, Jen,” he whispers, dropping the phone when another cramp hits and he curls up in as small of a ball as he can. He can hear Jensen yelling but can't move to get the phone. God, this is so much worse than he remembers. Why the hell did he think this was a good idea? He's not sure if it's so bad because he hasn't let himself have a heat in so long, doesn't really remember the few he had as a teenager. All he knows right now is that this sucks, really fucking badly, and he really, really hopes Jensen gets home soon. 

He can't really accurately measure time in the haze he's in, not sure if it's been minutes or hours since he called his mate. All he can focus on is the cramping, the emptiness, the ache that he knows only Jensen will be able to soothe. 

He dimly registers the sound of the front door slamming closed, nearly cries with relief when he catches a whiff of his mate's familiar, warm spicy scent, even as his cock twitches almost painfully, his natural slick leaking down the insides of his thighs. He groans in the back of his throat and rolls onto his stomach, grinding down against the mattress in a vain attempt to get some relief.

“Jesus fuck.” Jared squeezes his eyes closed, whole body trembling at the sound of Jensen's rough growl, his scent so much stronger now that he's inside their bedroom. Strong, warm hands grip his waist, plump, wet lips brush against the back of his shoulder. Jared whines and tries to push back against Jensen, whimpering when he feels Jensen's shirt sliding across his back, the soft cotton feeling more like steel wool. “What the hell, Jared?” Jensen rasps.

“Stopped the sups,” Jared grits out unnecessarily. 

“Fuck, baby,” Jensen murmurs, scraping his teeth over the curve of Jared's shoulder, dragging his tongue over his mating scar. “When was the last time you had one?”

“Eighteen,” Jared whimpers. “God, Jen,” he groans, pushing back against his mate. “Hurts.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Jensen breathes as he crawls onto the bed, lips and tongue and teeth moving over Jared's shoulders, the back of his neck, down his spine. He can feel Jensen pulling off his clothes even as he keeps kissing and licking and biting wherever he can reach. Jared mewls softly when he finally – _fucking finally_ – feels nothing but warm, bare skin pressing against him. “Why didn't you tell me 'bout this?” he asks softly.

“Wanted to surprise you,” Jared mutters. A disturbing thought breaks through the haze and his stomach clenches, making him nauseous. “Fuck,” he breathes, squeezing his eyes closed tighter. “Thought you'd like it. 'm sorry. I should'a talked it over with you...”

“Shh,” Jensen coos, draping himself over Jared's back, sliding his arms around his chest, lips brushing his blood-warm cheek. “'course I like it, Jay,” he murmurs. “Just hate seein' you hurtin' like this, wish I would'a known so I wouldn't'a left this mornin'.”

“Wasn't sure when it would hit, honestly,” Jared admits softly.

“You know that you didn't have to do this for me, right?” Jensen nuzzles his nose through Jared's sweat-damp hair, kissing the soft skin beneath his ear.

“I know,” Jared breathes, finally forcing his eyes open and glancing back at Jensen. “'m just tryin' to be better.” Another cramp hits and he whimpers. “Just wanna work on accepting myself, my gender, more.” 

Jensen smiles softly, lovingly, and kisses the side of his lips. “I love you,” he murmurs. “Just the way you are. You believe that right?”

“I do,” Jared replies honestly. He flashes Jensen a small, slightly strained smile. “Jen... Fuck, this hurts.” He blinks slowly, the haze once again taking over his brain, making thinking damn-near impossible. “Need you,” he breathes. “Please, Jensen?”

“I'm right here, baby,” Jensen murmurs. He presses a kiss to the back of Jared's neck then pulls away. Jared can't bite back a whine, trying to push back, to follow his mate, needing the connection, the press of skin against skin. “Easy, darlin',” Jensen breathes. “Not goin' anywhere. Just need to get you on your knees. Can you move for me?”

Jared somehow manages to push himself up to his knees, chest still pressed against the bed. He knows what he looks like, ass up in the air, hole soaking wet and if he was able to feel anything other than the burning, aching need for his mate – his mate's knot – he'd be embarrassed and horrified at himself. He's become the one thing he never wanted to be, doing the one thing he swore he'd never do; on his knees begging like a bitch in heat for an alpha's knot.

He closes his eyes, hating himself even more when he whimpers as Jensen presses a kiss to the back of his neck, his mate's hands tight around his waist. Jensen doesn't waste time, thankfully – Jared's pretty damn sure he'd end up in tears if Jensen felt the need to tease and work him up like he usually does – just lines himself up and pushes forward, sinking into Jared's wet, loosened entrance easily, not stopping until he's buried to the hilt. 

Jensen moans and drapes himself over Jared's back, one arm low around his waist, nosing through his hair as he starts to move, instantly falling into a hard, fast rhythm. Jared can't help or stop the sounds coming from his mouth, mewling and moaning and whimpering as he pushes back against Jensen. His stomach is still cramping and he still can't think straight, the only thing that will ease the ache is Jensen's knot and Jared knows it.

He gasps when Jensen tightens his arms around him and sits back, his legs spread wide over Jensen's, straddling his lap, back to chest. The position pushes Jensen's cock in just the slightest bit deeper and Jared moans brokenly, leaning back heavily against his mate's chest, Jensen's strength the only thing keeping him up. 

“Move, baby,” Jensen breathes against his ear, teeth scraping the lobe. “Ride me.”

Jared grinds his hips down, Jensen buried deep, thick cock-head rubbing against his prostate. Jared opens his legs a little wider, thigh muscles burning and trembling, as he bares down, keeping Jensen inside as he rolls and circles his hips, moaning as he feels the slight swelling of Jensen's knot. He reaches back and wraps one arm around Jensen's neck, gasping when Jensen kisses and bites at his mating scar, his knot steadily expanding, stretching Jared wider and wider.

Jared pulls up and slams back down, once, twice, three times, Jensen's half-formed knot catching on his rim every time, pushing past the slight resistance, the burning stretch pushing Jared closer to the edge. Jensen snaps his hips up, pushing in deeper than before, knot swelling the rest of the way, tying them together. The first pulse of Jensen's release inside him pushes Jared over as well and he comes, crying out as his untouched cock twitches almost painfully.

Jensen hums softly and tightens his arms around Jared again, gently tipping them onto their sides. He presses as close to Jared's back as possible, kissing the back of his neck, his shoulder, wherever he can reach. Jared stares at the wall, heat sated for the moment, not entirely sure how he feels. If he wants to be truly honest, he did this for Jensen, to try and be more like a normal omega, hoping against hope that he'd finally be able to come to terms with his gender. 

Jensen grinds his hips forward just barely, his knot pulsing inside Jared, his lips brushing Jared's scar and Jared trembles, closes his eyes. “You okay, Jay?” Jensen asks softly, nuzzling his neck.

Jared means to say yes, of course he's okay, why wouldn't he be. What comes out when he opens his lips instead is a shaky, mumbled, “I don't know.”

Jensen sighs softly and snuggles impossibly closer, squeezes his arms around Jared. This is the worst possible time to talk about things but he knows Jensen won't let a comment like that go, despite the position they're currently in. “I don't know what to do anymore, Jared,” Jensen says quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“I've tried, so hard, from the beginning to show you that I want you for you, that I love you just as you are. But it's like it just never gets through. Or if it does, it doesn't last long before you're back to pressuring yourself into changing, into trying to become what you think I want.” Jensen presses his lips against the back of Jared's shoulder, another soft sigh escaping. 

Something dark and unpleasant twists in Jared's stomach, his heart. That sounds an awful lot like good-bye. He knew it was just a matter of time before Jensen got tired of dealing with his shit. And although there have been many times in the past year, especially in the last few months, that Jared has thought it'd be better to just let Jensen go, the thought that it may actually happen scares the crap out of him. He doesn't want to lose Jensen, he really doesn't, he honestly loves him more than he even thought himself capable of, but he still can't get rid of the thought that Jensen deserves so much better, someone better. He deserves a mate that isn't ashamed of who and what he is. Jared doesn't think that'll ever be him.

Tears sting his eyes and he closes them again, feeling Jensen's frustration and disappointment through their bond, knows that Jensen can feel the direction his own thoughts have taken. A sudden wave of warm, soothing love washes over him and Jared gasps, eyes snapping open again, a few tears trickling down his cheeks.

“Stop it,” Jensen says softly but firmly. 

“What?” Jared mutters.

“Stop thinking whatever you're thinking that's making you feel so defeated and so devastated.” He shifts slightly, leans up on one elbow and grabs Jared's face, turning his head so that he's looking over his shoulder, right into Jensen's eyes. “I love you,” he murmurs. “So much. Just because I'm... frustrated doesn't mean I'm giving up.” He leans forward and brushes a kiss to Jared's lips. “But we really do need to figure this out once and for all, Jay. We can't keep goin' like this.”

“I don't know what to do,” Jared admits quietly. Jensen brushes away the tears, kisses him once more. “I”m tryin', Jensen. I really am.”

“I know you are, sweetheart,” Jensen replies. “But you... You're tryin' too hard and you don't need to.” He huffs and shakes his head. “We keep havin' the same talk, the same argument, over and over. What do I need to do to make you believe me?”

“I... I'm just afraid that I'm not enough, not good enough,” Jared whispers. “And I know you say that I am, but what if someday down the road you realize that I'm not? I'm tryin' to fix what's wrong so that doesn't happen. Won't be an issue in the future if I fix it now.”

“There's nothing wrong, or broken, baby,” Jensen murmurs.

“Then why can't I get past this?” Jared asks softly.

“Because you're still thinking that there _is_ something to get past.” Jensen tightens his arms around Jared, smiling when Jared reaches up and grabs one hand, twining their fingers together. “I love you, and accept you, just the way you are. You have issues with being an omega but you also can't accept yourself the way you are, either.” He brushes a kiss to Jared's lips, their foreheads resting together. “You have to stop thinking that I want something else, something that you're not. I love your independence and your stubbornness and I love that you _aren't_ like other omegas. And yeah, I love your scent without the suppressants dimming it but I don't want you to _ever_ think that you have to do it for me. If you think stopping them and letting yourself have heats will make you feel better, then do it. I'll be here to help you through it, always.” Jensen closes his eyes, inhaling deeply. “And as far as kids, I'm not even sure if _I_ want them either. It's something that we can talk about, if it comes up, in the future.” His eyes flutter open again, locking with Jared's. “That just about cover everything?” he asks with a smirk.

Jared surprises himself with the laugh that tears from his throat. “Yeah, that covers it,” he mutters. “Smartass.”

Jensen grins at him and slides his free hand up into his hair, keeping his head still as he stares into Jared's eyes. The smile slowly drops off and he leans forward, kissing Jared slow and deep, love and devotion and renewed arousal flowing into him through their bond – which is burning stronger than ever between them – and Jared moans in the back of his throat, kissing Jensen back eagerly, his cock twitching and hardening again, his own renewed arousal and Jensen's making his heat spike again. They're still tied together, Jensen's cock still hard and hot inside him, still pulsing every few minutes with the continued waves of his release. “Jensen,” Jared breathes into the kiss.

“I got'cha,” Jensen murmurs, smearing the words against Jared's lips.

Jensen circles his hips, knot pressing against Jared's still-sensitive prostate and Jared pulls away from Jensen's lips with a gasp, his head dropping back against Jensen's shoulder. He turns his head and nuzzles against Jensen's throat, right over his pounding pulse, eyes closing again as Jensen drags their still joined hands down his stomach to curl around his cock. Jared moans and tilts his head slightly, teeth scraping over Jensen's jaw, hips rocking back as Jensen grinds forward. 

It doesn't take long for him to end up completely hard and aching again, mind slightly hazy from the heat but not nearly as bad as before Jensen knotted him, leaving him at least a little more aware and able to focus. He slides his hand away from his cock, leaving just Jensen's fingers curled around his stiff length, moaning low in his throat and writhing against his mate. Despite the pleasure and pressure of Jensen's knot, he wishes that Jensen could thrust into him, almost wishes that they'd waited to start this until after they untied so they could do it all over again. 

After more than a year together, Jensen knows how to make things last, how to tease until Jared's mindless with the need to come. But he also knows just how to get him off fast and dirty if need be. Jensen's thumb rubs over his sticky-wet cock-head, smearing through his pre-come, strokes him hard, nearly brutal, wrist twisting beneath the tip, fingers teasing the thick vein and the bundle of nerves beneath the ridge. It takes just a matter of minutes before Jared's coming again, crying out Jensen's name, mewling weakly when he feels his inner muscles clenching and fluttering around Jensen's still mostly swollen knot.

Jensen hums and kisses the top of Jared's head, smiling when Jared pulls back enough to look up at him, leaning in to kiss his forehead, the arc of his cheekbone, the tip of his nose, the side of his mouth. By the time he gets to Jared's lips, Jared's smiling back at him, whole body still randomly twitching with shivery aftershocks. 

Jared sighs softly, contently, and snuggles back into Jensen's embrace, his eyes fluttering closed again. He's tired, almost exhausted really, and for the moment his heat has been sated and for once all the worries and stress have just melted away.

“Rest, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs, pulling the lightweight sheet up over them.

~~~~~~

Jared's not sure how much time has passed when he wakes up again. Jensen is sprawled out next to him on his back, sound asleep, and Jared rolls over onto his stomach, taking a few moments to just watch his mate sleeping, despite how creepy it makes him feel. Jensen looks younger, softer, in sleep and it makes Jared smile. 

He wiggles a little closer, rests his head on Jensen's shoulder and closes his eyes, taking stock of his body. He can feel his heat creeping back up on him but not nearly as bad as when he first woke up. There's a slight cramp in his stomach, that aching emptiness, but it isn't unbearable, at least not yet. There's a low thrum of arousal humming through his veins, his cock half-hard, hole already slick and loosening, a slight flush and a light sheen of sweat covering his entire body. 

Somehow he's never felt more at peace.

Jensen makes a soft noise in his sleep, head turning toward Jared, brow furrowed slightly and Jared can't help but wonder if Jensen can smell the sugary-sweet scent of his arousal even in sleep. Leaning up on one elbow, he lets his gaze drag over his mate's body, tips of his fingers brushing feather-light over Jensen's collarbone, down his chest, teasing gently through the soft, sparse hair beneath his belly button, biting down on his bottom lip when Jensen's soft cock twitches against his thigh. He lets his fingers slide down further, over Jensen's hipbone, the crease of his leg, the soft inside of his thigh, high enough to just barely brush against his balls. 

Jensen makes another noise, shifts a little, and Jared can sense him waking up, can feel his sleepy arousal through their bond. Leaning closer, he dips down and lets his lips and tongue follow the same path his fingers had taken, ends up kneeling next to Jensen's hip, nose nuzzling the heavy swell of Jensen's sac. Jensen's legs slide open and Jared glances up the long line of his mate's body, smiling when he sees that Jensen's still mostly asleep. He drags his nose up the length of Jensen's cock – his mate may be still mostly asleep but certain parts of his body are _very_ awake – tongue darting out to circle around the tip, then opens his mouth, sliding his lips down, taking his mate's cock as far down as he can.

Thick, strong fingers curl into his hair and he hears a sharp gasp, flicks his eyes up Jensen's body again, not surprised to see lust-dark, stormy-green staring back at him. “Jesus fuck, Jared,” Jensen growls. Jensen's cock hardens even more against his tongue and Jensen's fingers flex, just barely pulling Jared's hair when he pulls back, hollowing his cheeks then slides back down, tip brushing the back of his throat. Jared moans, eyes fluttering closed. “C'mere, baby,” Jensen urges, gently tugging on his hair once more. 

Jared pulls away and crawls up Jensen's body, straddling his lap. Jensen grabs the back of his neck and pulls him down, their lips sliding together, Jensen instantly pushing to deepen the kiss, licking his way into Jared's mouth, wet and messy, hips jerking up against Jared's, cock sliding along the cleft of his ass, spit, pre-come and Jared's slick easing the way. Jensen ends the kiss as quickly as it started, kissing over Jared's jaw, nuzzling beneath his ear, inhaling deeply. “Smell so fuckin' good, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs, teeth scraping the hinge of his jaw.

Jared arches his back, grinds his hips down, head of Jensen's cock catching on his rim. The slow burn of arousal turns swiftly into a forest fire and Jared suddenly can't wait anymore. “Jensen,” he moans. 

“Wanna stay there?” Jensen asks softly, hands sliding up Jared's thighs and over his hips, gripping hard enough to leave bruises.

“Yeah,” Jared breathes. He pushes himself up and reaches behind himself, holding Jensen steady as he lifts up then slowly sinks down on the long, thick length, lips parting, eyes fluttering closed as his head drops back. “Fuck,” he groans once Jensen's buried to the hilt. 

He leans back, slides his knees open wider, hands braced on Jensen's thighs and circles his hips. “Fuck, Jared,” Jensen rasps, fingers digging into his hips harder. “Look so fuckin' amazing like this, sweetheart.”

Jared opens his eyes and lifts his head a little, locking eyes with Jensen as he starts to rock his hips, grinding down, keeping Jensen buried as deep as possible, cock rubbing perfectly against his sweet spot. Jensen's eyes darken even more, freckled cheeks flushed with arousal, lips bitten red and plumper than usual. He's so achingly beautiful and undeniably perfect. Jared knows he's the luckiest omega in the whole world. 

“Jen,” he whispers, biting down hard on his bottom lip. His heat has spiked again but it isn't as bad as before, seems to be becoming more tolerable and less debilitating with each wave.

Jensen sits up, one hand behind himself holding his weight, other arm wrapping around Jared's waist. He leans forward, kissing and biting at Jared's chest, tongue darting out to tease his nipples into tight, aching buds. He grinds up against Jared as best as he can but mostly just lets Jared keep the pace, staring up at him, stormy-green eyes full of lust and love. Jared closes his eyes and lets his head fall forward, his forehead resting against Jensen's, their lips brushing together randomly, half kissing, mostly just sharing air between them. 

Jared's entire body is shaking, his thighs trembling with exertion and he whimpers, fingers digging into Jensen's legs. Jensen's hand slides up his back, bracing between his shoulder blades, and gently urges him to sit up. Jared does, his arms wrapping around Jensen's shoulders. Jensen tilts his head and kisses him fully, lips and tongue moving slowly. Jared mewls when Jensen ends the kiss, blinking his eyes open, gaze locking with Jensen's once more. 

Jared bites his bottom lip and lifts his hips, almost pulling completely off Jensen's cock before nearly slamming back down, needing harder, faster, _more_. He repeats the move a few times, nose wrinkling when he can't quite get what he wants, what he needs.

“Jensen,” he huffs. 

Jensen smiles softly and drops his hand, grabbing Jared's hip to still him. “What's wrong?” he murmurs. 

“I don't...” Jared huffs again, closes his eyes, cheeks heating slightly for some stupid reason. “Need more,” he eventually whispers.

Jensen squeezes his hip and presses a kiss to the corner of his lips. “Get on your knees for me?” Jensen breathes against his ear, teeth scraping the lobe.

Jared shivers and nods, pulling away from Jensen, hating the empty feeling when he lifts himself off of Jensen's lap. Legs quivering, Jared somehow manages to get onto his hands and knees, head hanging down between his shoulders. He still feels slightly uncomfortable in this position but not as bad as he used to. And he's got to admit, once he gets past the slight humiliation he's always felt, that having Jensen behind him, pounding into him hard and fast, feels pretty damn amazing. 

Jensen settles between his legs, thrusting back into him easily, tearing a moan from Jared when he bottoms out. Jensen grabs his hips and sets a fast, strong rhythm, angled perfectly to hit his prostate. Jared's fingers curl into the sheets and he pushes back against each thrust, skin slapping together wetly. “More,” he begs breathlessly. Jensen hesitates for a split second before pulling out almost all the way then slamming back, hard and fast and deep. Jared cries out and tosses his head back. “Fuck, just like that, babe...”

Jensen keeps the pace and rhythm, fucking into Jared just on the right side of brutally. After that, it doesn't take long for Jared to come, nearly screaming as he falls over the edge, trembling hard enough that he's sure he would've collapsed onto the mattress without Jensen's strength holding him up. He's vaguely aware of Jensen pushing in deep as his knot swells and ties them together, Jensen draping himself over Jared’s back, biting at the crook of his shoulder as he comes as well. 

He blinks his eyes open – hadn't even realized that he closed them – when Jensen tips them to the side, curling up close to Jared's back, kissing his shoulder, the back of his neck. Jared hums happily and snuggles back into Jensen's embrace, a soft smile curling up his lips. 

Maybe he can do this heat thing. It's only three to five days twice a year. 

After his heat, it takes a few weeks but he can feel himself settling in his own skin more, more than he ever has before. He knows that he'll never really be completely okay with being an omega but once he stops fighting so damn hard he realizes that while he hates being an omega, being _Jensen's_ omega is something that he can live with. Looking at it that way makes it easier to deal with, easier to accept. 

Their bond snaps back into place completely, not just when they're together or touching, stronger and better than ever. Jensen smiles more, his emerald eyes warm and sparkling and he can _feel_ just how much Jensen loves him, how happy his mate is. Things aren't totally perfect and Jared's sure that there will be issues that still come up but they're good, better than they've ever been. They love each other, they're happy together, and most importantly, they accept each other and themselves. Really, Jared doesn't think he could ask for anything more.

**Author's Note:**

> There is one more part of this verse. Actually two parts that I've decided to just make into one larger part. It will be posted in the next few days and then this series will be complete.


End file.
